How to Create Happiness in a Complex, Competitive World
Most of us try hard to fulfill our obligations in life, to be responsible parents, to assist our employees or colleagues, to support and comfort our spouses, to do our share of the work at the office and at home. These deeds are what we’re expected to do, what in fact we have agreed to do because of the lives we have decided to live. In order to maintain the stability in our lives and our relationships we willingly do these ordinary things.
Happiness comes when we step “outside the box” of our normal circumstances, when we move beyond the familiar emotional and circumstantial boundaries of our lives. When our acts of kindness move beyond the routine in the lives of others and in the lives of ourselves. No longer living by “have to or must, you have decided to live for the sake of true, unconditional giving. In giving freely, purely for no reason not because you must, not because you have no choice, but because in your heart, you have felt the spiritual necessity of acting out your love.
To become the person who behaves in this way is to be twice blessed with happiness. For, in this spontaneous goodness, you transform not only the world but also yourself. The world is divided, discouraged, with its dog-eat-dog mentality – becomes a new atmosphere of love and giving.
In choosing to love not only those whom you have committed yourself to loving, but also those whose names, faces and true circumstances you will never really know, you realize that loving and being loved is the one true human desire. You start to see yourself as a generous as well as a needing person. You begin to feel connected, centered and apart of a larger world than you ever imagined. In giving love, you will understand that the key to happiness comes from the acts of love that we give and receive.
Which is more difficult to give or to receive?
This is an important question to ponder. It seems as though as a child at Christmas, Hannukah or birthdays that happiness is all about receiving.
As an adult, I realize just the opposite is true for me. I am happiest when I am giving. It beings me joy to see joy someone gets from a loving gift. I have found it more difficult to receive than to give. Somehow, I feel obligated to like it, to even the score and think “what should I give to repay this person for their kind deed, for their kind gift.” What is the joy around Santa Claus at Christmas? Santa Claus is a jolly ole soul who gets such pleasure in giving to children everywhere.
“The mother who gives up her life for her children does them no kindness but rather burdens them with the legacy of a life unlived.” Janet Falldron
It is important to take the action set by your intention. I have been learning to bring more consciousness to my living, to pay attention to patterns that help me create a life “by choice”. Its’ helping me to live a more meaningful life, by finding the intention beneath my intention.
18 ways to create happiness in your life and in the lives of others.
Laugh out loud often and share your smile generously
Take the opportunity to tell friends about kindnesses you have experienced and ask about their experiences. Talking about kindness brings more kindness into the world.
Get your children to go through their toys and put aside those they want to donate to children who are less fortunate.
If there is a garden you pass frequently and enjoy, stop by and leave a note letting the gardener know how much pleasure their garden gives you.
Go to the grocery for a neighbor
Pick up the email or take the garbage to the appropriate place for a senior.
If you know of someone who is going through a difficult time in life, do something, anything to let him or her know someone cares… and don’t let on who did it!
Say “thank you” to someone who helps you and really mean it. You might want to look into his eyes, smile and if he is wearing a nametag, say his name.
Ask an older person to tell you a story about his or her youth, such as what her favorite song was and why, or how he met his spous
Let the person in the grocery store go ahead of you
Order a mail-order gift anonymously, for a friend or someone at work who needs to be cheered up.
For one week, act on every single thought of generosity that arises spontaneously in your heart and notice what happens as a consequence.
Give another driver your parking spot.
Be kind to yourself, go to lunch with your best friend, get a new haricut, a new sweater, a new pillow, call your daughter or son just to say “I love you”. Whatever makes you feel that spark of happiness.
Talk to people about one of your acts of kindness and ask them to tell you about one of theirs. Disclosure stimulates us to do more by emphasizing the pleasure of giving with no strings attached.
Open the phone book and select a name at arandom and send that person a greeting card.
When someone is trying to merge into your lane in traffic, let him in… and why not smile and wave while doing it!
Most importantly, you have all done good needs, have taken on a challenge, have created something beautiful, and have enjoyed being valued in your life. Never doubt how precious, how vitally important you are. Every moment you make a difference, So, today appreciate yourself and celebrate by being happy!
